You are my hero
Liana Hanokaee
You are my hero, he tells her often when she holds his pinky.
When she asks how or why, he says he’ll tell her when she’s older.
But heroes beat the bad guys,
Fly across the city to untie hostages,
Put out fires,
Save people from burning buildings,
Get people home safe,
Make sure people are okay,
Protect and
Guard…
But she hadn’t done any of those things. She was four or five years old.
Before bedtime, he reads to her, but this time he wasn’t coming.
After calling, “Daddddyyyy!” for a while, she gets out of bed to find him.
He’s on the floor crying.
She’s young. She doesn’t understand, but she knows he’s in pain.
“I’m sorry. I can’t read to you anymore baba”
He’s not feeling okay right now, but why does he have to stop reading with her?
Time passes and she reads alone, but she is not one of the smart kids who reads all the time.
He still tells her, “You are my hero” and she holds his pinky.
This poem is a raw, sobering poem that highlights a beautiful father daughter relationship. There is nothing more brutal than watching your father cry, especially at a young age. I love this poem. The only tweak i would make would be to remove: After calling, “Daddddyyyy!” for a while, - i feel like it breaks the intensity of the poem and will be stronger without it. Overall, beautiful poem- love this.
ReplyDeletei like the extra touches this poem has, like the detail about her not being "the smart" kid that reads. i also love the vagueness of this poem because it is intense and not confusing-- just open to interpretation. is her father dead? it's cool that you added that in.
ReplyDeletei agree with marcela-- there's not much to edit, but the speaker crying "daddy" should probably be a stand-alone line so that the message can be drawled out. i really enjoyed reading this!
I love this so much and the combination of perspectives. You tell a story of heros and villains while sharing a story of life. The ending touch of holding her pinky shows how young she is with small fingers and hands, her hand feels tiny to me. My only tiny tiny suggestion is to the first line of stanza three: Before bedtime, he reads to her, but this time he wasn’t coming.
ReplyDeleteBefore bedtime, her reads to her, this time he didn't come
I only suggest this slight change because this line really hits home and wondering where parents are when we don't see them is an anxiety everyone can understand. Furthermore you SHOW this emotion as opposed to telling by linking it to a bedtime story. I just think this line is so powerful so I think the word but takes away from it and the to put it in the past tense just seems more organized to me as it feels like the speaker is looking back on this moment. Love this poem so much thank you for sharing.
I have chills after reading this. I loved how you made it so personal as well as giving readers the ability to connect; specifically because you used "her" and not "me". I love how the first line is restated as the last. Only critique would be to maybe not double space within stanzas, although I also agree that "Daddy" should be on its own line.
ReplyDeleteI'm nominating this poem for workshop tomorrow, so you will be hearing much more from me soon!
ReplyDelete